Drool-Worthy Copy

Drool-Worthy Stories

The only copywriting apprenticeship for copywriters who want to learn how to write drool-worthy stories in 90 days.

Friends, acquaintances, and potential partners in word crime.

Let’s get gummy-bear real here — Stories sell.

Your brain changes dramatically when you’re told a story. Scientists know that a story puts your entire brain to work, so you experience it (in living color #tvshowshoutout).

From your sensory cortex lighting up when you read about sweet and salty chocolate-covered pretzels to your motor cortex switching on when you read about catching a ball to your somatosensory cortex turning on when you read about textures like leathery hands or prickly beards — Your brain activates:

  • Neurons fire
  • Pathways illuminate
  • Connections are made

Picture a pinball machine pinging and dinging and lighting up.

And to top it off, you think in stories all day long, no matter if it’s about…

  • Buying groceries
  • Going to work
  • Or reliving a mistake you made in 3rd grade that you still get anxiety over

You make up stories in our heads for every action and conversation. In fact, “personal stories and gossip make up 65% of our daily conversations.”

While all of this is interesting, what does it have to do with copywriting?

Everything.

Strong storytelling in copywriting leads to better engagement. But storytelling in copywriting has to evolve to match readers’ attention spans. This means you have to hook ‘em quick like a 15-inch bigmouth bass and reel ‘em in steady like a 15-foot tiger shark so that readers…

  • Devour all the stories you write like they gobble up their favorite candy.
  • Share every story you write with your family, friends & followers.
  • AND click the buy button on your offers because they feel connected to you through your stories.

“I’ve given up correcting everyone’s grammar. It’s a lost cause! But Autumn’s book isn’t about conforming to stodgy old rules, or refusing to accept a living language. it’s about little tweaks you can make in your wording to make it pop. Her tips will make your writing more readable, powerful, and — most importantly — profitable.”

Do this, and you’ll master powerful Drool-Worthy Storytelling Techniques like…

  • The Triple F Rule — A rule to help you write flowing, flawless, and fun stories using seamless transitions. It’s like The Triple Crown of copywriting without the horses.

  • Intentional Boo Boos — Similar to Honey Boo Boo, this technique will show you how to use grammar errors to grab your reader’s attention in a fun and memorable way.

  • Hot Hooks — Storytelling tactics to keep readers interested in your words like you just caught the biggest largemouth bass. Bonus: no picture proof needed.

  • Power Proofreader — There, they’re, their my friend. These tools will help you avoid credibility killing errors in your stories.

  • No More Tears — Ways to use emotion to bring your stories to life and get readers to feel your words without putting shampoo in their eyes.

  • Feel With All 5 Senses — A tool to create vivid, interesting, and stimulating stories so readers experience your words in their world. Note: you won’t be learning about the 6th sense because I don’t want you to see dead people.

  • Perfect Precision — A technique to use details and specifics to help readers picture your stories in their minds. No math or rulers necessary, promise.

  • Like, As If — Valley Girl-less analogies & metaphors that humanize and simplify your stories with concrete examples.

  • Don’t Save Your Drama For Your Mama — A storytelling tactic that elicits an emotional response from your readers. Except without all the parental judgment.

  • Provocative Punctuation — Tools to create rhythm and cadence that bring your stories to life. Note: you can leave your hat on.

  • Bulletproof Bullet Points — This better-than-coffee mini-headline technique helps you organize your story, simplify your idea, and keep your readers reading at a steady pace.

  • P.S. Not B.S. — A horn-free and stench-free method that highlights the story’s important parts or provides a tantalizing preview of an upcoming story, so your readers stay hooked.

  • Rep-Rep-Repetition — A non-physical way to get your message across, create the right mood, and establish rhythm so your readers remember your story. No sweating involved.

  • Move This — Shake that body language like a salt shaker all over your stories to show emotion rather than explicitly writing out the emotion.

  • But Why? — A toddler-proof justification technique that turns your story into a case study and encourages readers to participate in the story & use their reasoning skills, so they apply the story & solutions to their lives.

  • Blah. Blah. Blah. — What to cut from your stories. Science-backed words and phrases that have lost all their power in storytelling.

  • 1-3 Sentence Storytelling — A “yada yada yada” story-shortening technique. Think Seinfeld.

And SO many more…

“I was feeling really blocked around my writing. I understood how to structure good copy but what I wrote wasn’t always concise or clear enough, and I didn’t know how to make my copy better. I had no idea how to strengthen my writing on a line-by-line basis, and I discovered that that’s what copy editing is really for. It’s okay for me to have those loose drafts so long as I tighten them up later, and Autumn gave me the tools to do so.”

HOW IT WORKS

This is a 12-week program, featuring…

  • One, 60-minute Coaching Call a Week — During each call, we’ll go over the copy you’ve written and improve it, review your homework, and answer any questions you might have. Our calls will be recorded and sent to you. (Value of: $1,020 USD)

  • Weekly Rapid Response Copy Critiques — Each week, you’ll send me a copywriting sample you wrote. I’ll make a video for you that shows you at least 5 ways you can improve it. (Value of: $7,142 USD)

  • Custom Mistake Style Guide — Credibility-killing errors can unintentionally slip through your copywriting. I’ll study your copywriting and look for common mistakes you make. I’ll help you understand those mistakes, and then, I’ll put them in a handy guide. So you catch every mistake you make. (Value of: $750 USD)

  • Cheat Sheets — All my copywriting and storytelling secrets in one convenient place. That way you never have to search your desk or call replays for answers. Unless you love the sound of my voice so much that you want to hear it again. (Value of: $900 USD)

  • Voxer App Communication — Is a word or phrase or sentence keeping you up at night? Did you try being descriptive in your copy, but it doesn’t flow well? Do you need help choosing specifics for an attention-grabbing analogy? Contact me on Voxer and get your questions answered fast. Or tell me a joke. I’m open to both. (Value of: $35 USD per message)

  • Individualized Attention— Me! Me! Me! Yes… you, you, you. Drool-Worthy Stories is focused on your success. I want you to master every storytelling secret I share with you. (Value of: PRICELESS)

“You can trust your copy with Autumn. She can save you from yourself, especially if you’re too close to your copy, content, or client. Autumn will not only polish your words, so they shine like a diamond, she’ll also provide solid feedback to help you up your writing game. I always learn something new when I work with Autumn. And I feel confident that the work I hand over to clients is awesome…and grammatically correct.”

Bonuses anyone?

That’s right, you get MORE. I go above and beyond for my apprentices. Here are a few bonuses you get... 

BONUS #1 – A Paperback Copy Of The Grumpy Grammarian’s Guide To Copy Editing

Move over, Elements of Style. There’s a new reference book in town with a red-hot cover & the personality to match. You can burn it or keep at your desk as a quick-reference guide. Your choice. (Value of: $9.99 USD)

BONUS #2 – 30 Commonly Confused Words Guide

Ever heard of a homophone? These tricky words sound the same but are spelled differently AND have entirely different meanings. Unintentionally using the wrong word is a clarity killer… for you and your readers. So don’t scratch your head, wondering if you’re using the right word. Flip a page instead. (Value of: $39.99 USD)

BONUS #3 – Body Language Guide

More than 50% of communication is nonverbal. Writing out someone’s posture and mannerisms is a useful way to convey emotion in your copy rather than explicitly writing the emotion. This guide contains 43 emotions and examples of posture & mannerisms typically associated with each emotion. (Value of: $59.99 USD)

BONUS #4 – Overused Words And Phrases Guide

Blah. Blah. Blah. Yada-Yada-Yada. That’s all readers think when they see certain words and phrases. This guide takes the guesswork out of deciding what to cut from your stories. You get every word and phrase that has lost its power in storytelling. And the best part? It’s backed by science.

“Autumn’s no-bullshit editing and knowledge of ungoogleable questions has made her my grammar guru. She’s half Hemingway App, half English professor, and half snarky friend from the bar. Yes, that’s three halves, but that’s how big she is. She will make you a better writer.”

Are you waiting for a special invitation?

Well, here it is...

Drool-Worthy Stories is the only copywriting apprenticeship for copywriters and business owners who want to be better storytellers, who show up and do the work, AND who can handle honest feedback and learn from it.

Here’s the candy-coated caveat:

  • I can’t promise you specific results.
  • I also don’t offer a money-back guarantee.

But here’s what I can promise:

You’ll learn how to write stories that your readers will devour, obsess over every word you write, and come back for more.

I can also promise…

I’ll respect you & you’ll learn in a way that feels fun (no memorizing formulas or following rules).

Through our partnership, you’ll develop the knowledge, the resources, and the confidence to write stories that make readers hungry for more. We’ll accomplish this with a personalized plan.

I’ll help you leverage your strengths, so you become a drool-worthy storyteller with tons of personality.

Autumn sped up my copywriting process and increased my copywriting confidence.

“Before I met Autumn, I used to hire co-writers to help me author a lot of my sales content. I always knew what I wanted to say. (After all, I am a bestselling author, and I do have a ton of great ideas.) But I didn’t know how to say it in a precise, copywriting kind of way.

But after studying Autumn’s tips, reading her book, and implementing everything I learned…

Now, people are calling me a copywriter.

Me, a copywriter?!?! I can’t believe it, but it’s true.

I learned SO much from Autumn about copy editing that it blows my mind. More importantly, she helped me become confident in my writing abilities because now I know how to copy edit.

If you have to write lots of content for emails, blogs, marketing materials, and Instagram posts, I highly recommend learning how to copy edit from Autumn. She’s the premier copy editing expert.”

Your investment for Drool-Worthy Stories is $2,997 USD for 3 months.

Payable in 3 monthly installments of $999 USD, or pay in full ($2,997 USD) and receive a $299 USD discount ($2,698 USD). 

Your investment in Drool-Worthy Stories is not as significant as the amount of money you’re losing because of your lack of storytelling skills.

How much more money could you earn because you write stories that engage readers? That amount is endless. Because…

  • When your stories are full of details, it creates vivid, interesting, and stimulating stories so readers experience your words in their world.
  • When your stories are full of emotion, it brings your stories to life and gets readers to feel your words.
  • When your stories are full of drama, it builds anticipation and tension which elicits an emotional response from your readers.

And that, that’s unlimited earning potential.

Now it’s time to decide whether or not you want to learn how to write stories that attract avid readers, raving fans, & loyal customers.

Click here to start the application process.

Word up,
Autumn

“Autumn is The Grumpy Grammarian and the sharpest, eagle-eye editor I know. Not only is she saving me from myself grammatically… she also puts up with a lot of my immature bullshit when I get delirious and weird from writing too long. THANKS, AUTUMN. YOU ROCK.”

FAQs

(Frequently Asked Questions)

Yes, I’m grumpy a lot. But not because of bad grammar.

Here’s just a few reasons why:

  • When people talk like Valley Girls. So. Much. Grumpiness.
  • Getting my headphone cord caught in my wheelchair’s wheel. When will I learn to get a pair of wireless headphones?
  • When someone reads what I’m reading over my shoulder. Personal space, pah-leez!
  • People who pet my head like I’m a dog. Don’t make me curse at you.
  • People who respond to text messages with “k”. Would it kill you to add an “o”?
  • When people pronounce words wrong. Just because you listen to “feliz navidad” doesn’t mean that’s how you pronounce “fleece.”

Every writer benefits from clear, concise, and compelling copy.

Copywriters and business owners will benefit more than academic writers.

But this apprenticeship is also great for anyone writing a book. You’ll be lightyears ahead of the book writing process because of the copy editing and storytelling techniques I teach.

Because copywriting alone isn’t enough.

You need more than formulas to write copy that’s effortless and addictive to read. You need copy editing, storytelling, and persuasion to take your copywriting abilities to the next level.

These skills are the difference between an overtly salesy piece of garbage…And something with that extra pull and polish that’s irresistible to readers and customers.

Yes.

Writing clear, concise, compelling copy can be learned across languages.

But Drool-Worthy Stories is taught in American English. It’s beneficial for you to already have a working foundation of English.

Yes. Every business benefits from clear, concise, and compelling copy.

No.

If you want to improve your copywriting skills and learn to craft drool-worthy stories, this apprenticeship requires your full participation and dedication.

I do not offer refunds.

You have big goals and want to achieve them. But along your audacious journey, you’re going to have a crisis of confidence.

That might sound like, “OMG! I invested all these Dolla Dolla Bills, y’all. Who am I?!?! I’m not worthy. I’m going to fail. My family, significant other, and friends are going to laugh at me. Even my dog is going to look at me like I just pooped on the good carpet. I better ask for my money back and throw this whole become-a-better-copywriter idea away.”

First, I’m not going to let you chicken out. I believe in you. (And so does your dog.)

Second, my clients sing my praises. They legit love me. See testimonials above.

Third, you will learn new skills and improve as a copywriter.

But in the catastrophic event that you’re not satisfied, I offer an Unconditional Success Guarantee.

All you have to do is: Tell me that you’re not satisfied ASAP. (During your apprenticeship. Not after.) And we’ll create a new plan that gets you the value you paid for.

Still have questions?

Email me

autumn@grumpygrammarian.com

Confused about commas, semicolons & colons? Then sign up for my FREE guide. It’ll make you smarter, better looking, more famous, and (at least) 3 inches taller.