I created an infomercial for my book, The Grumpy Grammarian’s Guide To Copy Editing.
And I killed it.
Let me set the stage for you:
I entered the infomercial dark web and analyzed psychological triggers that influence people’s decisions like a small-town detective trying to pin a murder on an innocent person.
I summoned my inner Billy Mays with just one huff of OxiClean and practiced my lines in a booming voice like the locals voicing their destain for the small-town detective.
“1 easy payment of $9.99!”
“It slices, it dices, it never loses its edge!”
And I gathered my costars & followed them around tossing dog treats & fruit snacks while filming like I was making a documentary about a murder.
An infomercial murder.
Because it’s both horrifyingly good and bad. And I love it as much as a lonely inmate loves a penpal.
But the shining moment of my infomercial is my niece talking about my book unscripted.
I may or may not have promised to make slime with her on Saturday in exchange for a positive review. Which is hysterical because she’s never read my book.
She’s so good I’m thinking about nicknaming her One Take Tompkins. She just might have a future in acting.
Watch my infomercial here.
P.S. You can buy my book here.